wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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