sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
