I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
