goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
