Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
