Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
