I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize