Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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