come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
