Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
