Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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