I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
