I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
