discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
