If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
