oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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