high people should be assigned attendants
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
