Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
