Pregnant stripper...not hot.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
