Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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