oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
