I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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