OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
