I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The Olympian is in my bed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
