Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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