either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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