Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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