im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
