using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
