How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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