she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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