I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
