Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We got so high we made milksteak
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
