ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.