So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
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Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.