Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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