I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
