Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
