Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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