In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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