definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
