There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize