i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize