They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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