i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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