my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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