dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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