Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
