Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
