is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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