when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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