I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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