I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
