why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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