TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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