just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Randomize
