I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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