We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
