you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
