this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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