I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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