My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
