It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
