It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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